#oh i am rambling in my tags again!!
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Skating into the Groovy AU, Here Comes Julie!! Also known as WildFlower!! Oh she has skates, so she is so much more chaotic! She has boundless energy and loves dragging all of her friends onto the rollerblading rink for a very fun game!! (and the most wild of dancing!) Catch her and Groovy doing a lil hip bump as they pass eachother! Ty to my partner in crime for helping me to develop her design!! @sketchy-tour <3333 I would not have had such a vision without their help!
Ty ty for making me learn how to draw a braid because i am falling in love with drawing hair so muchhh OHH OHHH!! the only reason Julie is not in a dress, is because ! i already crossed her legs and i struggle to convey that under a dress ahahahaha! BUT Julie ABSOLUTELY goes into dress mode!!! She also has these
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Oh she has such a wardrobe, I am sure of it!!
#groovy au#wildflower#groovy julie#julie joyful#welcome home#wally darling#groovy#jazzart#ooooh sorry this took me so long bc i felt like going a bit ham#oh do not expect such quality from me all the time!! ahahahaha#i feel like i need to properly make a ref for poppy BUT i want to draw home next!!#oh im so so excited for HOME!!!#i loooove home!!#oh and maybe they all can have nicknames!#Poppy is called Willow....#such a soft and whimsical name for her#it feels so wise and dreamy to me#oh i am rambling in my tags again!!#it feels nice!#i havent rambled in a bit!!#holiday holiday stress i blame you!!#i picked a verryyyyy funny time to start an au lmao#i hope noone will mind when i most likely will pause to draw christmas art#i need wally in a santa suit ASAP#oh this au is so much fun bc i am learning too!!#learning how to draw the other neighbors!!#how to draw braids!#oh how to draw vehicles!! my detested you are next!!!#oh will i learn how to draw buildings???#julie's skating rink....
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Tried to draw in a way that’s more fun for me, lmk what you guys think!!
#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#the narrator#tsp fanart#tspud#tsp#tsp narrator#tsp stanley#“more fun for me„ I say#as if I didn’t lose my mind over the narrator#fuck he’s so hard to draw it pmo#ohhhh Stanley my Stanley oh how I love thee Stanley….#guys who am I more like…. Stanley or the narrator….. be honest#methinks im equally both#okay I’m rambling now#LOOK AT THE ART AGAIN STOP LOOKING AT THE TAGS….#now back at the tags#now back at the art#now back here#now back at art#now back to the tags again#good job!!#being able to say stuff in tags is genuinely the best feature on tumblr…. it’s my favourite thing ever
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one
alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way
#scribbles#milton r wallace#callum crown#phonegingi#sgt norm allen#norm allen#dialtown#dialtown a phone dating sim#..uh idk if callum and milt have a ship name orz#normgingi#milton norm parallels save me. Save me milton norm parallels#very specific but its why i prefer to look at the callum-milt-marla situation as like tragic polyamory#as opposed to a cheating one#it adds to the callum-gingi parallels. theyv both got polycule situations C:#though i suppose you could call a cheating situation a dark parallel to gingi's polycule the same way you could call#milton's entire deal a dark parallel to their relationship with norm/the narrator#However i just like tragic polyamory. my visions of milton and marla ALSO being in love yet having the mutual#realization that they hate callum more than they love eachother (esp milton) is highly specific yet also everything to me#misery loves company and all that jazz. a THIRD combination of people having divorce shit going on#this guys ruining my life IM GONNA FUCK HIS WIFE! (They are already in a consensual polyamorous relationship milton is just making it weird#Sorry these tags were going to be like meaningful discussion about this art and then i was enabled to talk about THIS AGAIN#OH YEAH this art in particular i discovered halftones and also started actually using blending brushes#milts face isnt drawn. obviously. but im imagining a kind of 'oh you!' exasperated fondness#as opposed to norm who's just a cranky little tsundere. jokes on milt though HIS relationship is HEALTHIER#also i will never pass up the chance to draw gingi and callum together#theyr both characters i adore drawing gingi's round shapes and different textures and callums cute little bolts#but also they do look soooo similar and yet so different its always really fun to do#and theyr just. my favs lol. my top 3 favs go gingi-mingus-callum hehe#Ok thats all. thank you for coming to my rambles#fig said i should post my art at better times and so i am and that means when i post my art im AWAKE ENOUGH TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT LOL
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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Hiiii I saw you say you have Notes on your Remus and Janus designs 👀👀?
Could we see/hear some tidbits?
FOR SURE !! Here's what the original doodles for their designs look like, first off, (I know you didn't ask for Virgil but I did these three at the same time)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e3685349656cb32a704c341e89fb866a/4be237b450fd927b-7d/s540x810/e94f99fbc92687a335f50c8eff2c2e0ce046b7b0.jpg)
When I drew this I had just finished an exam and had to wait another hour until I could leave the classroom, so I wrote down enough notes that I had to flip the page instead:
Virgil:
- Virgil has light brown hair that he dyes black (badly). It is essential that the dye job look like shit. It looks artificial, his roots are showing, there's patches where the color didn't take, etc etc.
- He also has blue eyes, which I decided on mostly because it makes it even more clear that his hair isn't naturally black.
- He wears earrings, but his ears aren't actually pierced — they're fake little little clip-on things.
- He wears black nail polish at all times, but it's always chipped because he gets the cheapest stuff he can get his hands on.
- His hair (especially his bangs) get very long at times because he gets too socially anxious to go to the hairdresser. Back in middle school, he used to have Janus cut them for him (Remus could have done a better job but trusting him with scissors would have been a mistake). Now he mostly cuts it off by himself — it looks about as good as his dye job.
- Virgil's purple hoodie is a leftover from Remus' fashion design endeavors that Remus thought didn't look weird enough.
Janus:
- He has naturally strawberry blonde hair. The length is very important to him — he started growing it towards the end of middle school. (He allows Remus to experiment with hairdos sometimes as long as he doesn't cut anything off. I need to draw that sometime)
- I'm not entirely settled on his eye color. I know at least one of his eyes is a very pretty brown, but I have half a mind to give him a yellow glass eye for his left side — I'm not sure it'd make any logistic sense for his situation, though
- He got his ears actually pierced when he was 16.
- He also may or may not have a forked tongue. Not sure how I'd ever be able to show that off — but if he does have one, then Remus definitely was the one to encourage him to do it.
- His fashion style was definitely influenced by being around Remus (who may have used him as a mannequin/dummy because he's small.) so much. Remus also attempted to make clothes for him, but Janus is very fancy and picky, so he doesn't wear those clothes very often (though he might accessorize with stuff Remus made for him occasionally).
Remus:
- He has naturally very dark hair. He uses temporary/surface level dyes a lot, but if he's using permanent or semi-permanent dyes, he's usually limiting himself to the grey streak — it's kind of a sample strand, since it's already bleached. He 100% copied his hairstyle from Roman's.
- He (and Roman, of course) has greenish blue eyes.
- Janus paid for him to get his ears (and eyebrows) professionally pierced because otherwise he was just going to do it himself with a sewing needle.
- He has a lot of very shitty stick-and-poke tattoos he made/makes on himself. They're almost always hidden by his outfits.
- Speaking of which, Remus makes most of his outfits costumes himself. The quality of the work may vary, but they are always way too over-the-top for casual wear, because he stands out anyway, so... in for a penny, right. (As I said in the tags of a post: he is very creative and has no shame or social anxiety at all, so he had his whole aesthetic ("overdramatic green") figured out by the time he was 13)
- He also has SH scars, but, again — they're hidden by his outfits 99% of the time. He's a slut who never shows an inch of skin
#ask#idrawgaystffs#rant#sanders sides#lbau#traditional#drawing#their design go in order of intensity Remus → Janus → Virgil#virgil likes to express himself but is too chicken to do anything too extreme so he's limited to softcore emo#janus is definitely fancier than most but he wears stuff i still definitely see every day at my uni#(i see people wearing corsets regularly at my uni idk what other people's experiences are. English litt major in a non-English country...)#(for those who don't know that's a gay as fuck major)#and then Remus looks like he's in the middle of a stage production every single day. with makeup to match#OH this is somewhat of a college AU ! Roman is also there and Remus' class does costumes for Roman's occasionally#Roman does theater and Remus does visual arts (design major/fashion minor bc there was no fashion major)#Janus and Patton are philosophy majors and of course Virgil is a psychology major#and then we have Logan in biochemical ingeneering for obvious reasons.#i have so much lore sorry for rambling .#anyway they keep a lot of their original designs because it just fits them#BUT i needed to include virgil having a shitty hairdo/dye and etc because he is. SUCH a try-hard in my mind.#emo sure. but he looks wannabe emo. it's Essential. he's fake ! he wants to fit in! with the gay kids sure but he still wants to fit in!#it's very clear that his hair is dyed because it's very clear that he is a wannabe. it is so important to me.#also the tidbit about him not being able to go to the hairdresser. is ALSO SO IMPORTANT. he pretends the shitty hairstyle is intentional.#even his signature hoddie is someone else's leftovers. He Borrows. From A Lot Of Places. but he doesnt have a real identity of his own yet.#you wouldnt guess while reading these tags but im actually way more passionate avout Janus and Remus than i am about virgil#it's just that i project onto virgil so so so much .#anyway SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE AGAIN. I KEEP DOING THAT#do i character tag this. i dont feel like feel like character tagging this#OH AND thank you so much for asking !!! as you can tell i really like talking . about them
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Only two chapters left of Wobbly Hearts and then I’m DONE. 21 is pretty much finished I just got to edit it and look over it and all that, and 22 needs some tweaking but its almost done too and I’m AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA longest I’ve ever worked on anything like this and it’s almost done!!!!
#Knox rambles#is it a little silly to celebrate finishing a fanfic? maybe! but that’s not gonna stop me#worked on this thing for like what? three years?#that’s crazy#so close to being done |;A;/#now all i need is to make so no extra chapters sneak up on me#they shouldn’t this is all i had planned but you never know hLGJKSDF#i remind you this was supposed to be a oneshot and now it’s over 100k and 22 chapters long so we can see how good i am at keeping things#the pre-planned length that they’re supposed to be XD#it would be so cool if i could finish this for the new year#i know it probably won’t get done that fast but a guy can hope#i wanna draw everyone’s designs for the end of the fic still aaaa#oh I just got an idea for that actually mwahahaha#okay anyway just rambling a bunch cause I’m excited that I’m actually gonna complete this#completing things never cease to feel unreal to me i remember never feeling like i finished anything and now I’m finishing another fic and#it’s so long#aaaa#okay okay back to it methinks! hope y’all’s holidays are treating you well!!!#i got a new keyboard to hook up to my iPad and i have been using it every day since to write wobbly hearts hlKGJSDF#heck im using it right now! that’s probably why I’m so chatty in the tags again typing is easy texting is SO ROUGH i love keyboards okay bye#LEGO NINJAGO Wobbly Hearts AU
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(tumblr is being a Bit shit and not letting me upload art under an ask) i fuuuck with mili oh my god i havent heard this song!!!! you get it. hey, you get it. the lyrics are so him and i cannot elaborate just yet i'll link both the cover and the original song (cover) (original)
#kirby tag#my art tag#meta knight#forgo dreams ddd#looking at mk in forgotten land and grabbing him by the cape. oh buddy i am not done with you#mk is just such a fun character to throw into situations. esp when he's alone or separated from the main crew. gives him room to#come up with his own theories and solutions. from an outside perspective it can be confusing why he acts in certain ways#ah rambling again
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(go on and) kiss the boy
“So,” Mike starts, drawing out the word, and Will turns to him. “Any ideas on how to spend the next fifteen minutes?” It’s teasing, suggestive when he wiggles his eyebrows, and it’s so unexpected that Will lets out a surprised laugh, unabashed, and it’s so easy, how the tension falls away, and it’s only them again. “You’re ridiculous,” Will shakes his head, smiling, but Mike looks proud of himself anyway. He points out, “I don’t hear you complaining.” Will scoffs, nudging at him with an elbow. “Whatever,” he smoothly replies. Mike grins.
Will, Mike, and the numerous attempts at their first kiss.
#hiii it is me again . hello#ok . on with the tags#oh my god its 3 am#I HAVE TO GET UP AT NINE .....#ok . ok#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#byler fic#byler fanfic#um . what else#thats probably it idk#ok no rambling this time . i am so tired ive been working on this for like . one day and it i sprobably so bad and im missing osme huge mis#ake . my eyes are going to melt out of my ears#EARS ? HEAD I MEANT HEAD#SKJULL ??? SKULL theyre going ot melt out of my skull . jesus christ#im done embarrassing myself#goodbye and goodnight#byebye#magic
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Not to start shit, if you know me you know I'm a "ship and let ship" kinda gal and saying this I truly have no problem with James/Orla as a ship it harms no one and plenty of people like it, I like people having fun... that said...
I have never understood the common argument that James/Erin as a ship makes no sense and James/Orla should have been the ship instead. Often one of the arguments is that James/Erin wasn't set up while James/Orla was and I'm sorry... what? James/Erin have at least one ship heavy episode each season as well as plenty of background moments and several significant moments in Erin's Diary.
Even if you ignore all the background moments of the two holding hands, being inside each others personal space, the times where they're clearly matching and whatnot. There is at LEAST the implication that Erin would ignore her supposed crush for James, that she cares what he thinks, that Erin is James's type, that they're aligned in creative values and match each others energies, that Erin thinks he's handsome, that James thinks she's beautiful, that she can't imagine her life without him, etc.
James/Orla have some touchy moments... that's kinda all they have as far as romantic coding and I don't see how those two hugging in the Season 2 finale is somehow more significant than what setup James/Erin have throughout all the seasons.
Honestly, while I can see Orla liking James - you could build a case for it and convince me even though I see Orla as ace/aro in my own personal headcanons... no one has ever been able to give me a convincing argument for James liking Orla back. It kinda feels like you have to ignore that he never has a reason to fancy Orla back and just project onto him that.
Which, again, go off if that's your bag I think their friendship is fun and I could see making a ship out of it, but the common argument is that the SHOW makes a better case for James/Orla and like, no? No it really doesn't? It's just not main girl/main boy and some people really don't like that trope or Erin as a main and I think that if you say the show didn't set up James/Erin well and you argue the show would have been better with James/Orla based on what's in the show, you just might not like Erin very much?
I've also never been able to make sense of the argument that James/Erin is somehow the trope that 'guys and girls can't just be friends' like, is that not also James/Orla? Y'know, besides that Orla isn't a girl. They do use she/her during the show time period though and some people who argue this think Orla is a girl, they just think they're not THE girl. So somehow it's better even though it's the same thing.
Basically what I'm saying is that shipping is fun and we all oughta do it. Every ship besides the obvious ones is potentially fun and I'm down for it, but there is one ship the show was setting up and we all know what that ship was and I think it would be better if we all were honest about it.
PS: "James was gay the whole time!" Truthers, if you made it through this post somehow I'd like to offer a compromise: James Maguire is the most bisexual coded male character in media history we can all win here.
#derry girls#james maguire#jerin#erin quinn#Orla McCool#james x erin#erin x james#not tagging Orla and James as a ship because I'm not starting shit it's literally just addressing a common fandom thing I see a lot#when I track discussions of the show#funny enough I do actually have a stream-of-consciousness ficlet in my best friend's dms#where very early on Orla gives James a 'Valentine You're a Horse' card and he overthinks what it means for a week:#Orla: I like horses.#James: Wait so does that mean you like me?? Cause you said I'm a horse -#Orla: *grabs his face* James. I really like horses.#James: I... okay.#Orla: So we understand each other. *walks away*#And then they never discuss it again for like ten years until his wedding to Erin where Orla says they are glad at least Erin won him#since their attempt at wooing didn't work#James: YOU DID LIKE ME BACK THEN OH MY GOD!#Orla: I TOLD YOU I LIKED HORSES HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR COULD I HAVE BEEN. WE WOULD HAVE NEVER WORKED. YOU DON'T GET ME.#This is how I see any romance between them going hypothetically: Orla making an overture James just doesn't get and nothing happens lmao#this was stream of consciousness so if this post is rambling and incoherent be nice to me I'm on my period#I am fog brained today
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i don’t think people give ciel nearly enough credit when it comes to his emotional intelligence/how self-aware he is.
like, yeah— ciel is a brat, he’s a stuck up little privileged rich kid, he’s pampered and spoiled and struggles massively when he’s forced to live without the luxuries he’s always grown up with. but he also recognizes that, in a way that is actually quite mature for someone of his age and class. he’s cynical, he’s pessimistic, he has incredible little (if any) respect or hope for humanity left— but this is something he applies to himself and the others at his same social standing just as much as anyone else, if not more. he clearly connects and empathizes with finny (and honestly all of his servants) because he sees himself within him, trusting him like a (his) brother during the emerald witch arc. he understands where joker is coming from with regards to his desperation to take care of his family and doesn’t pass judgement on him, to the point of even planning to take care of the very family he thought he’d left behind after joker dies. he even seems to have some degree of genuine respect for lizzie, assuaging her insecurities by trying to see her for who she is and not who she wants to be or feels like she must be.
honestly, i think that in most of the cases where ciel is being a full on Brat™ it all goes back to one thing— ciel trying to asset his Power, and take back control over the situation.
ciel is a character who is very very very easily underestimated at first glance by most people who have just met him, and even a few people who know him longer than that. he’s literally a sickly victorian child with asthma and CPTSD-motivated panic attacks, the kid is frail as fuck, not to mention— a kid. the fact that ciel might have something of an inferiority complex is obvious enough even if you don’t bring the whole lesser-twin thing into it, his minute stature is something literally every fucking character brings up upon first meeting him.
sometimes, ciel can use this to his advantage, so he does. he puts on the cute little boy face and flutters his eyelashes and uses other peoples’ empathy against them to achieve his own goals (see: arthur, and also like the entire public school arc, etc.).
most of the time though, ciel doesn’t really want to do this, not only because it’s somewhat demeaning but also because he Does have a reputation to uphold. ciel needs to constantly be both on guard and on the attack for his job as the queen’s watchdog, he is basically obligated to constantly stand as the biggest threat in the underworld. much of ciel’s Brat behavior to other people comes down to this— him asserting his status, not really out of any pride for the title, but because he is a Threat and other people need to fucking know it. sometimes, this means shoving his (and sebastian’s) power in their face until they get the fucking picture and/or die trying to understand it, particularly in the case of more asshole-ish characters like all the random evil businessmen with criminal agendas that ciel puts through the evil haunted demon house schtick. other times, this manifests more in the form of a kind of genuine empathy— you Should get the fuck away if you actually care about the things you claim to care about cuz i will not hold back, etc.
speaking of— in the case of sebastian specifically, the fact that this is ciel’s desire to take back agency becomes even more clear.
sebastian and ciel’s dynamic is one of, if not the most compelling aspects of this series to me, in large part because of how goddamn codependent they are while simultaneously being inherently at odds with one another. this series Will end with sebastian eating ciel’s goddamned soul— i honestly think that even if the rest of the cast eventually becomes more aware of the specifics of sebastian’s demonic nature or their contract, ciel himself will stop them from trying to save him or break the deal somehow, and sebastian himself certainly doesn’t have nearly enough of an attachment to humanity as a whole to bother actually stopping himself from chowing down, even if he may regret it somewhat more than he expected afterwards. yet at the same time, right up until we reach that exact point, they have every reason to need and want to collaborate with each other— something that they do, even if it is with full knowledge of the exact sword hanging over their heads the entire time that they’re playing nice.
i really love the analysis from this post, which points out the fact that all of the three core rules ciel establishes for their contract are perfectly designed to turn sebastian into someone that ciel can trust. highly recommend reading that essay, but to elaborate a bit more in my own words— ciel knows that sebastian is going to eat him one day. he is incredibly physically fragile and aware of this, perhaps even aware of the ways in which he has been made mentally weak due to his traumas, and especially of the fact that he is vulnerable specifically in comparison to sebastian. every single time that sebastian saves ciel, it is another reminder that This is who ciel is going to die to. he is chained to this starving, rabid monster just as much as the monster is chained to him, and one day, those roles are going to flip. he’s not going to be in power forever, and he knows it.
therefore: when ciel is a Brat™ at sebastian specifically, i read this less as ciel actually being unaware/childish/stupid/etc., and more as ciel tugging on the proverbial chain to make sure he is still the one pulling the strings. ciel has a habit of emphasizing the fact that he is Ordering sebastian when he is in a stressful situation or panicking for any given reason, focusing on the language that he Knows sebastian will respond to. and it’s a trauma response. IT’S A TRAUMA RESPONSE!!
what i think ciel Hates, above all else, maybe even more than he cares to consciously admit, is not having power. he can’t stand to not be the one in full control of a situation. he can’t stand having his agency taken from him, not after Everything that he’s been through.
if there’s one thing that watching his entire family be killed while also being viciously abused by a cult taught (not) ciel, it is the feeling of having No power. he was helpless to stop his parents’ murders, he was helpless to stop the cult from violating and abusing him, he was helpless to stop his own brother’s death. ciel connects more easily and often more deeply on an emotional level with the lower class characters in the story because he knows what it feels like to be completely powerless in the face of the absolute worst of humanity. thus, when ciel acts like a Brat, when he asserts his title as an Earl, someone Respectable, or as The Queen’s Watchdog, someone Threatening, when he demands that everyone bend over backwards to serve his will— it is ciel taking back all the power that he can and gripping it as tightly as he possibly fucking can, because he knows what can and will happen if/when he lets it all go.
and there is no character for which this is more true than sebastian. one of the most powerful entities in the series, easily the one closest to ciel, who he depends on so incredibly— but who is also Destined and Required to bring his end once all this is over. ciel kicks sebastian around, treats him like shit and shows him rare moments of kindness and care, all for the affirmation that He is still in control. absolutely nobody can ever meaningfully hurt ciel again, so long as sebastian is there— and sebastian won’t hurt him either. not yet. but, instinctively, he needs to keep testing that bond. just in case. just to be sure.
honestly, i think that’s where the real tragedy of the series comes from— ciel never really grows, never really changes, because he Can’t. he guaranteed that for himself. at his absolute lowest point, ciel lost all faith in humanity and god and Himself. he lost his childhood naïveté, and the ability to believe in goodness in any form. ciel knows that one day, he’s going to be hurt again, that someone is going to snatch him up and chew him alive— all he wants now is the control to dictate for himself when that inevitable end will happen.
#astronaut rambles#kuroshits#ciel phantomhive#black butler#kuroshitsuji#HE GAVE UP FROM THE BEGINNING!!! 🎉🎉#honestly. the fact that so many of the recent arcs have revolved around#1. two of ciel’s biggest most vocal and richest Supporters turning their backs on him and/or actively hating him (lizzie + soma)#and 2. ciel’s acceptance of the finality of death being so Brutally tested#really makes all of this interesting too#i think ciel tries to shy away from human connection cuz he knows that he can’t ever truly control people#(and also cuz they’re the biggest source of potential pain maybe? humans are cruel etc. etc.)#but. i mean it’s funny ofc he ends up having incredibly deep personal connections regardless of that#sigh. oh my dear hateful son#even gave up your own name for all of this shit. you never really respected yourself huh 😔#anyways. wrote all this at 2-3am#the yapplestorms ‘writing more the more tired i am’ habit strikes again#long post#also: nobody asked. but#this is why i don’t think sebastian pressuring ciel into sex is all that realistic to canon#if anything it’d be like. ciel pressuring himself into it even when it makes him incredibly uncomfortable lmfao#sebastian might tease but as time goes on the limits of how far he’s willing to go become more clear#at the very least he still wants ciel to be entertaining and breaking him mentally kinda goes against that#note that sebastian does the same kind of testing when it comes to making sure ciel is keeping up his end of the contract#he pokes at ciel’s motivations when he’s at one of his most vulnerable points to make sure the dedication to revenge is still Pure n Steady#fuck. they really do match each other’s freak to an insane degree huh LOL#could also write more about the parallels between how current ciel is codependent w/ his brother vs. sebastian but eh. another time#tl;dr there's a reason why he takes the name Ciel and always asserts Ciel's power (hint: he doesnt respect himself!! screaming at the choir#sebaciel#eh yeah might as well tag that too
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Your art is FANTASTIC and the random observations/polls/interjections you make have really helped to fuel the DA fandom in positive ways! Which it definitely needed after Veilguard's release, lmao. It's always a pleasure to see you on my dashboard!
That's very kind of you to say oh my gosh thank you so much. I'm just bumbling around and every once in a while I say something people think is worth sharing, and I like sharing what other folks feel/make too! I'm glad I'm a not too much of an annoyance xx
I think my favorite thing about having this blog is the notes I see on other peoples posts I rb, it’s nice seeing all sweet things get things sent an artist way or conversations/theories carried on in a rb chain
It’s a big ol show n tell and it’s a wonderful reprieve from my normal day to be able to see other folks stuff too ✨
#I have a bunch of asks turned peanut gallery thoughts i haven't answered sorry guys i've been a workin...whatever i am#and ask asks too... oh no ahhh#asks for bee#thoughts from the peanut gallery#It's a very beautiful sandwich I just wish it had more meat instead of lettuce if that makes any sense?#and there's nothing wrong with being disappointed with what shipped#i dont think you should put something you love so high up on a pedistool that the flaws can't be seen anymore...#but going out of your way to be an ass to someone isn't my gig so i'm happy folks that follow this blog feel that same way#I want this to be a little safe space that's not just entirely one point of view#and I'm really lucky that I have so many people following this blog that are kind to each other in the notes when i rb something that isn't#-a shared feeling with everyone#its really cool that for the most part folks are respectful to one another in my tags/comments#like i wouldn't been able to ask for the Anders vibe check this time a year ago without folks being mean to eachother#oooo i hope i don't jinx it#ah im rambling again!#thank you for the kind words!!!#this blog has grown so much since MELE and Veilguard#its sweet xx#(I’m of course not without fault and had my share of asshole moments but I’m trying not to let my anger be the strongest part of me)#I know I can be snippy but if I was truly irked by someone I would just block them and move on#and I hope that’s what folks to do with me too#i’m sorry I don’t respond to your asks super fast all the time but my inbox is always open for pretty much whatever#…just not any more dreams about varrics feet please?#I’m still rambling ahhhh!!!#you can really tell I’m snuggled up and about to fall asleep huh whoopsy!#thank you for the chill tumblr space everyone! That’s all I was trying to say!!
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Any ships you don’t like in the batfam fandom that is popular?
OOOH this is such a fun question because I have quite a few
StephCass - i'll be honest this is one of those ships where the fandom ruined it for me. because 2000s StephCass is an elite dynamic, they care for each other so deeply. but the fandom has been intent on defanging and purifying this ship. i don't know *why* but StephCass seems most popular with the anti-Batcest crowd who get very mad if you compare it to ships they deem Batcest. i have an entire meta commentary on this in my drafts I'll likely never post discussing why the only reason StephCass gets the pass for not being Batcest ties directly into misogyny (because the women of the Batfam need to exist as love interests first, not family members so Steph was never going to truly get to exist as a "full" Batfam member so long as she could remain a viable love interest for Tim, and the same can apply to Babs, Helena, and even Cass in some cases) and that just sours me to it. like if i want yuri in Batfam i think there are far more interesting/fucked up ships for Steph like Babs/Steph or Helena/Steph. and when it comes to what i'd actually like to see in canon, i don't want to see Steph relegated to love interest of a Batfamily member, even if it's queer. let her date and exist outside of Gotham the way every other Batfam member gets to, DC *please*.
Bruce/Selina - i can't fully articulate why this ship isn't my thing, it just isn't. i think i just can't conceivably agree with Selina letting go of so many of her fundamental morals and beliefs for the sake of a man, even one she loves such as Bruce. ironically, i think that's one of the few things Gotham War got right about these two. the only canon love interest i like for Bruce is Zatanna and i mourn we'll never get much of that.
JayRoy - i will admit when i was newer to DC the first comics i picked up for Jason were all New-52 and i shipped this. but now that i'm a pre-Flashpoint truther and i've actually read well-written Roy Harper comics, i only see the flaws in this ship. ngl if ppl were actually fun and interesting with it, playing with the idea of Roy knowing Jason as Robin and still seeing him as just Dick's little brother who's gone a little mental, it *could* be fun. but this Red Hood & the Outlaws (2011) and Red Hood/Arsenal (2015) dynamic *butchers* the fuck out of Roy and strips him of everything interesting. and even as a Batfamily stan, my number one pet peeve is when other DC characters get *butchered* in a Batfamily character's book just for the sake of propping up the Bat as some kind of savior. free Roy Harper from this mans.
Bruce/Oliver - we could be here all day if i listed all the Bruce ships i don't like, but i figure this one has to be included. because oh my god either the people shipping this *really* don't understand Oliver Queen or they just hate his ass because why would you subject Oliver to this man. he can't *stand* Bruce. i really hate the popular BruOliie shipping dynamic of like "oh they were boarding school besties" because if you want that, you *should* like Bruce/Zatanna, not these two. Oliver just always gets butchered in these fics and i won't stand for it.
Tim/Bernard - the ESSAYS i could write on this ship and why i dislike it. the fucking *fear* DC (and most popular media tbh) has with depicting queer relationships as anything other than totally perfect and cute for fear of accusations of homophobia has stripped this ship of *any* real grit. Bernard is a non-character in Tim Drake: Robin, he exists to cheer Tim on and prop him up and just be The Boyfriend. we occasionally get glimpses of an interesting character with really interesting trauma and nothing is *done* with it bc at the end of the day, Tim and Bernard must be perfect and cute. what's fun about Tim is he is the *worst* boyfriend alive. that boy is *ass* at dating. all of his relationships are rich with conflict and yet the moment he dates a guy suddenly all of his flaws vanish? i hate it. i mourn what this could've been if we kept messy Tim Drake and had a Bernard who was actually informed by his trauma. DC please let gays be messy again. also of all of Tim's 90s/00s friends to bring back as a love interest, Bernard Dowd was just a *bizarre* fucking choice. Sebastian Ives was *right* there come on now.
Any Crossover Ship - look if crossovers are your cup of tea i'm happy for you but oh my god if i have to see that little green ghost boy or that ladybug girl in the Batfam one more time i think i may explode. i have a lot of thoughts on *why* i think specifically Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug get crossed over as often as they do with the Batfam, but i don't think anyone wants to year that. my only exception to this is Jason/Bucky Barnes, but it *has* to be comics!Bucky. like. Judd Winick's Jason and Ed Brubaker's Bucky would hatefuck and that i wish to see it. any other crossover ship (especially the Peter Parker ones that seem to be rising in popularity) just do *not* do it for me.
honestly besides that i don't think i dislike many ships. (aside from being super opinionated on Bruce ships, but that's mostly bc ppl will use him to butcher the character they ship him with) there are some ships i'm neutral to because i simply do not know enough to have an opinion (like Dick/Wally). i guess the only Batcest ship i'm not particular to is Bruce/Damian, but I wouldn't say that one is popular nor would i say i dislike it, just that it's not my cup of tea. most Batcest ships click for me in one way or another because i like their Weird dnyamics. i guess i could also say i dislike most ships that have come out of Young Justice (tv) because. oh my *god* why were those group of characters put together on a team. it's baffling. but even then it's not disliking those ships, it's moreso disliking that show's depiction of those characters so. everything is really dependant on the canon context for me!
#necrotic answerings#batcest#sorry sorry to the shippers who are going to have this post caught in their filters#i am specifically not tagging the ships for that reason but sometimes tumblr will put it in the tagged content anyway#so sorry about that one#anyway i'm so serious i have Big feelings about the steph and cass thing.#i will probably never post it because oh the fights it'll start. but i've got feelings.#also my jason and roy feelings are pretty recent won't lie#like i used to be neutral on it. even have it in recent (within past few years recent at least) fanfic i've written#but the straw that broke the camels back was -as usual- wayne family adventures.#a recent episode had roy waxing poetic about how jason “saved” and “believed” in the outlaws as their leader#and i was like nope. i'm done. i can't. unsubscribing from this ship. goodbye.#red hood/arsenal is a guilty pleasure comic i won't lie to you (mostly for the duela dent content)#but i can't do it anymore. i can't witness roy being fucking BUTCHERED like that. i am done i've left the building.#writing this i found i actually don't dislike as many ships as i thought i did. bc i love to be a hater#but rlly most batfam ships i'm agreeable to#it needs the correct context and characterization but I'll be down for the cause if i think it could be fun#only the ones i mentioned are the ones i rlly dislike enough to be grumpy about#also bruce and constantine. i also dislike and am grumpy about.#but i do think that *could* work. y'all just need to read a hellblazer comic#bc you guys (the general you) do not understand constantine stop making him silly magic mcguffin guy. free him.#tumblr ate some of my tags on my last post so I'll stop rambling for fear of being silenced by tumblr gods again.
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you know what. if i could draw half as good as any of my mutuals, yall would simply be forced to see drawings of tommy and paulie with nose rings every single day
#youd open tumblr to a picture of tommy w a double nose piercing and paulie w a hoop in the left nostril#and be like ‘oh nae’s posting again’#and i am being SO serious#the thought plagues my every waking moment. i love their noses so soso much#but no. all yall get from me is rambling in tags and asks and posts and on ao3#tommy angelo#paulie lombardo#post: personal#mde
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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allies or enemies by the crane wives but it's the outlanders coming to terms with caring about one another, specifically after ushari's death
#rahm said smth about the song fitting the outlanders at one point#and while i'd already thought of it before them saying it got me thinking MORE y'know#don't make me write a whole lyric analysis on my thoughts /hj#ARE WE ALLIES OR ENEMIES THIS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR BUT I CAN'T FIGHT WITH YOU ANYMOREEEE /lyr#it's both angsty and humourous because: they already lost ushari and as much as they deny it they don't wanna lose the others too#like. its definitely canon divergent but i think being under scar's rule would pact them together a bit#they would never say it obviously#but after ushari dies and then jasiri gives them a chance for reformation they're like. oh . we CAN change we CAN have a go at this again#and make the right choices this time#like i think if just one of em started giving reformation a chance then the rest of em might start to open themselves up to it#oh my god i've rambled in tags again#i guess i've already done my analysis /silly#but yeah i could do a lyric analysis. maybe#mmm i love the outlanders 😭😭😭#spinny rambles#the lion guard thoughts#allies or enemies#the crane wives#tlg outlanders#* WAIT I DIDN'T FINISH MY POINT ABOUT IT BEING HUMOUROUS#its humourous because they're like “ughhhHHHHHHHhh there's no point in reforming” but jasiri still offers them the chance#and it's humourous because they care for each other and won't admit it :]#sorry i lost my train of thought completely i am sick rn lmao#the adhd going wild mb 😔
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